Photo: Alan Cleaver
To give an accurate account of what goes on in my household between the hours of 6am to close, with two St. Bernards and a pregnant woman, is to describe very nearly the same happenings of what goes on inside the Philadelphia Zoo during the autumn Beast Feast. It is a scene of total carnage that defies all description: The chief savage, as she is called, romps up and down the hallway, galloping, knocking over furniture, bellowing, and plowing through pedestrians—all this, before I even let the dogs out.
Then the true chaos begins. When the hounds are unconfined, I climb onto the couch, and high up on the back of it, as if the ground were rising lava, and curl myself into a ball and cover my head in my hands and pray them not to find me. But it is no use, they always do. And then they too charge the couch, and tear up to the top of it, and slobber me.
This is the start of my day, and I am about to introduce a baby into the mix—a fresh half version of myself, which I made a couple months ago, in what was a very strange and foreign process to me, but as I am susceptible to bribes, or in this instance, a vicious threat, I took to it, did what was commanded of me, sowed my seed, and thus contented the Rancor—and if Christine will just go ahead and have the baby already, I will be glad and very happy to meet him.
I want to talk to you today about stress, because I’ve come to know a thing or two about, and how to manage it.
I have much going on in my life right now, including all that which was just previously mentioned, as well as the writing and marketing of two books—which, if I might solicit a PRE-ORDER (Paleo Workouts for Dummies & Fast Diets for Dummies)—working this whole fitness blogging business thing (The Inner Circle), running a kettlebell certification and biz dev course (Oh, and before I forget, Killing It With Kettlebells November is now open for registration, and this is for any of you good people who are looking to get into this business, which is to say, the business of running large group kettlebell bootcamp. I can help you, but we only have three spots left.), and, of course, running my own KIWK bootcamp.
But I have no complaints whatsoever. And this is my first tip to you, to repeat that line at regular intervals throughout the day, especially when the steam pressure is maximally pent up, just say it—I have no complaints whatsoever, and straightaway this will open the check valve and stop your spleen from exploding.
People ask me what else do I take for stress and I tell them the first thing I take is exercise, but as you are reading this blog, I’m going to assume you are already doing the same. But let me add this: The exercise you do, and the amount you do of it, can either alleviate or potentiate your stress. This is the most marked difference between what I do and what the prevailing dunderheads of maximalist fitness regimes do (you know who I’m talking about).
Intense exercise is a stressor, supposed to be short-lived, and when applied judiciously opens that check valve we were just talking about and so releases some of that steam pressure. It relaxes you. But too much exercise, either too much or too soon, flips the check valve around, like the one on a reservoir which permits influx but prevents outflow. Meaning, stress comes in, but doesn’t go back out—not enough of it, anyways, and this keeps a person overly sympathetic (“fight or flighty”), and is very deleterious to the human condition.
Addictions seek a man out, as a way to alleviate pain, fear, stress, or at least to temporarily distract him from it, and exercise for too many, I see not as a healthy release valve, but something more along the lines of crack cocaine. And you try to talk to these people about it, and try to help them out, and they vehemently deny the harm of it and defend their vice as heroically does a dipsomaniac when you grab at his jug. Don’t let this be you. Because it used to be me.
But now I know better, which is why I’ve gone minimalist. “Do the least you have to do to get the job done, not a smidgen more”. That is how you use exercise to lessen stress and not worsen it, and how to not wind up with Rhabdo, or urine running down your legs and into your sock. Right, Crossfit?
7 Holistic Stress-Busters (That Actually Work)
I decided quite some time ago to settle the whole stress and anxiety matter in a holistic sort of way (and it worked), free from any sort of pharmaceuticals, which is now the common RX for a neurotic individual (over-stressed, over-anxious, or even depressed), but in most cases, to be frank, a wholly wrong one.
I admit the word neurotic does not advance my case, because it is based off the Greek word neuron, meaning nerve, and the suffix osis, meaning an abnormal or diseased condition. But this is not what a neurotic person has, as the neurotic person is not diseased, but imbalanced. Specifically, the neurotic person has “…an illness characterized by excessive use of energy for unproductive purposes so that personality development is hindered or stopped” (Erin Berne). And illness is not the best word either, I don’t think. Disorder, or again imbalance, I think are far more better fitted, but admittedly, much harder to write a prescription for.
I’ll tell you what I did, but let me first say I’ve worked very hard at this (and at times gotten quite stressed over it, ironically), and I’ve spent much time in trial and error, and lastly, that this remedy, or perhaps these remedies, I should say, are only what I’ve found to be disgustingly effective for just one person—and that’s me. I say disgustingly effective, because I am still flabbergasted as to how well it all works. I can say this, because one year ago, I’m pretty sure I knew more about stress than the person who invented it, but now I’m about as laid-back as a sea otter, which I’ve just learned has a pocket, or a flap of skin on his front leg, for the safekeeping of his most favorite rock, which, I guess, is pretty cool.
- Bacopa
For convenience, (my convenience) I quote Examine.com on Bacopa:“Bacopa is the ‘queen’ of Ayurveda, behind only Ashwagandha. It is touted as an anti-anxiety, anti-depression, and pro-memory agent, and is demonstrated effective in all claims. Also highly protective and beneficial to neural function, it takes up to four weeks to work best.”Um yes, I agree on all points.
What I take: 250mg standardized extract and 500mg powder, first thing in the morning (before food).
- L-Theanine
That’s Lola’s nose, of course.
To keep these easy on myself (again form Examine.com),
“L-Theanine is a relaxing and nondietary amino acid found pretty much exclusively in teas from Camellia sinensis (alongside green tea catechins and caffeine) and is known to promote relaxation without sedation. It appears to be effective at this and reducing stress at standard dosages.”
Another stress tip: Do no more work than is necessary for you to do, before letting others do it for you.
What I take: 100mg, first thing in the morning with Bacopa (before food)
- Reshei Mushroom
Reshei mushroom is almost identically to Chinese medicine what Bacopa is to Ayurveda. Both serve as potent stress-reducing agents and overall wellness promoters. The research is strong, too, which is good, because here I am truly speaking only on my own experiences.
What I take: 1 gram, usually at lunch. - Holy Basil
Another stress-reducing agent that I’ve found works well for me.What I take: 964mg (just what’s in the bottle serving size), Holy Basil Leaf Extract (Hydro-ethanol and Supercritical Co2), usually at lunch.
- Brisk WalkingWhat I take: Morning and night. Preferably at least once a day in a fasted state.And how fast, you ask, is a brisk walk? I say, imagine somebody is following you.
One of my brisk walking companions: King Dupey of the Universe
- Meditation
If you look like this when you meditate, it means you’ve arrived.
I cannot give you a course on this, because I’m not qualified. All I can say is that with diligence, it works, and better than just about anything else combined. Find yourself a good teacher, and be patient.
What I take: 10-15 minutes, as often as possible.
- Progressive muscle relaxation
Why not.
Yes, this works too, but only to the extent that you work it. CLICK HERE if you don’t know what this is, and for a follow along video.
What I take: 20 minutes, in the evening, usually after dinner, but after meditation (because if I attempt to meditate when I am too relaxed, I sometimes mistake it for taking nap).
Note: The oftener you practice this, the better, because as you acquire some skill at it, you can learn to literally “turn on” relaxation at any given time or situation—an enormously valuable skill.
Concluding Thoughts
I want you to join the conversation, and to tell me, and everyone else, a little bit about what you do to alleviate stress. Please share your remedies in the comment section, they are valued–and if they are thoughtful enough, you might even win yourself a stuffed beaver.
What are your thoughts on supplementingmelatonin for relaxation?
Melatonin is interesting,for sure. The research is pretty clear that it’s safe, even when taken orally and long-term, but personally I experienced diminished returns very quickly. Just my n=1.
Melatonin can be useful in falling asleep (and not habit-forming), but it isn’t a relaxant.
Thanks for chiming in Sol, and for all the good work you do on Examine.com
Love this! Have you also tried DHEA?
Hello Lisa, I have not. The research on that is still a pretty mixed bag, from what I can tell (and most of it, at least the studies of DHEA effects on testosterone has been conducted on menopausal women).
What has been your experience, if any?
Well, I can’t believe I’m admitting this on social media, but I am looking at 45 for my next birthday (yikes!) and I am POST menopausal. We have have had a few discussions on the effects and negative impact stress can have. Adrenal fatigue,because cortisol is being produced faster than the DHEA can keep up,most likely; and a disrupted balance in hormones… i can on. Yes, I have and still take DHEA, to raise the levels I need, that have been depleted due to over training, over working paired with under nourishing, and insomnia. A stress-a-holic’s cocktail.
I’m owning my story, Pat. I signed up for KWIK.
Great to have you on board Lisa, and what an inspiring story you have. I look forward to helping you bring that value to others!
Love this!! Have you also tried DHEA??
Usually I try to stay away from supplements due to my addictive nature. The way I combat stress is to remove myself physically from the environment. Usually when things reach a level that’s hard to combat by meditating, I can be found shooting my bow or guns. It allows me to focus on the target and the target alone. When I do that, everything else is of no consequence. There’s something cathartic about hitting your target on point on a nice breezy day.
Love King Dupey!
A good dog, but makes brisk walking into something more difficult than it should be.
Sex…and valerian/mate tea…play guitar…bike ride…that’s how I relax/destress…
Pffft. Think you’re stressed now? Wait ’til baby no. 2 comes along. As that great philosopher Brad Pitt said regarding children: “One is one, and two is ten. I don’t know why, it just is.” Particularly true of two boys 20 months apart. Smartest thing I ever heard a celebrity say, aside from that girl from The Wonder Years who went on to get a PhD in mathematics.
Oh…. interesting blog, too, by the way.
I used to suffer pretty severe panic & anxiety attacks, the one thing I found that worked for calming me down during an attack was playing guitar. I’m not suggesting guitar is the answer, it’s more about occupying the mind on something to take focus away from the impending rush of paralysis enducing adrenaline.
At the time my panic attacks were at there worst I was heavily overweight, eating a horrendous diet that consisted of beer, take away food & not a vegetable in sight. Changing that aspect of my life , eliminating gluten & dairy(turns out I was intolerant to both), processed junk foods & quitting the devils elixir primarily, saw an improvement in my anxiety & sleep apnea almost instantly. Within a few weeks both seemed to be a thing of the past & ‘cept for the odd brush with whole wheat pasta or a failed attempt at introducing whey protein in to my diet I’ve been anxiety & sleep apnea free for over two & a half years.
Hey Jamie, thanks for chiming in and sharing your experience. It’s amazing how the things that are the most profound, like changing your diet, are also the most simple. Food is medicine. Keep strong, my friend.
According to a guy at GNC if you take Melatonin then your body stops producing it.
A couple of cups of chamomile or some natural calm magnesium definately help, but sometimes you just need a bottle or two of wine.
Magnesium, definitely–a necessity, as most are wretchedly deficient.
As for the wine, I do think that some good old fashion nonsense, and putting a few sheets in the wind, as the saying goes (every now and again) is good for the soul. The key is keeping it at every now and again.
Walking or standing barefoot on grass in direct sunlight for a few minutes seems to calm me down. Deep breathing too!
As someone who is currently healing my trashed adrenals from a combination of insomnia, leading to anxiety further perpetuating insomnia, throwing off every system ( or so it seems) in my body including thyroid issues, intestinal issues, metabolic issues, leading to patches of hair loss, shingles and all over pain and misery in which I was restricted from exercising which was my main stress reliever. I chose to do so without pharmaceuticals which given my state of being completely unwound and unable to sleep to heal were suggested several times. I took what I needed for the shingles but I also modified my diet further ( already gluten and dairy free), found a practitioner who looked holistically and ardently followed his advice and listened to my own body. I am sure to get at least 30 minutes of sunlight on as much skin as possible, a dhea and pregnenolone supplement, adrenal support which is a combination of licorice root, several b vitamins, l glutamine, magnesium, zinc, pro biotics, no sugar, no caffeine, and mindfulness meditation. The protocol itself felt overwhelming and trying to manage stress when your body physically is at its breaking point lacking much of the physical reserves to process stress and the very supplements that should help were producing paradoxical effects was challenging to say the least. But now I sleep, I am cleared for exercise and I am taking a course to further enhance my mindfulness practice because I never again want to feel like that. I work on it because my body clearly told me to stop or it was going to stop me. I’m glad I listened.
Happy to hear that you have figured out a regimen that is working for you. Keep with it, the returns seem to be coming in!
Greetings Pat, Thank you for all of the high quality information you share on a regular basis!
Here is my perspective on stress. How we use the vast potency of our minds is key. Most of us have been raised to believe that we have to “figure out’, or “deal with” the constant stirrings that appear within our awareness. These include thoughts, feelings, emotions, sensations, etc,. We could call all of these, “phenomena”, “appearances”, or “data”. We have a choice as to how we deal with our “data”. We can choose to fixate on what is arising and try to figure it out or we can allow that arising energy to be as it is. If we allow what appears in the mind to simply be, it will always pass. The law of impermanence guarantees this. What appears is just dynamic energy and will always pass if left as it is. If we label and try to figure out all of the constantly arising data, we are doomed to a life of confusion and great personal suffering. This comes from my direct experience of having lived 54 plus years on this planet
Supplementation can, of course, help. But, how we choose to use our minds is the real key to living an enjoyable, harmonious, and satisfying life.
Thanks again, Pat, and do enjoy parenthood! It is a wild ride!
Brian, some sagely advice, thank you. What you focus on inevitably persists, I agree–the difficult part, as I’ve found, is learning to “watch your thinking”, and to be constantly in tune with what you are focuses on. People scarcely recognize how much attention they give to their negative emotions, and how fat and coarse grow therefrom.
I couldn’t have said it better myself. So much of our stress and suffering comes from being prisoners of our own mind. It’s the constant thinking of thoughts going round and round which creates the inability to be in the present moment. Eckhart Tolle’s book “The Power of Now” and “A New Earth” really helped me a lot in learning to be present with each moment. Yoga,(and kettlebells) changed my life as well and taught me how to use the breath and to quiet the mind. Sometimes we just take things (and ourselves)too seriously. All challenges are blessings in disguise. We always think we have to “do something” when sometimes the best thing to do is nothing. It’s called the art of not doing. “If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will spare 100 days of sorrow” Tao Te Ching…also recommended reading!
Pat and All,
I practice what I refer to as “Basking”. Resting Joyfully. Each night after I say “Good night” to my wife and rest on my pillow I come up with at least 5 things I am thankful for that day. It can be anything from my morning coffee, love of my wife, a family member, any sense of accomplishment in spite of difficulties, playing with my cat etc.
It helps to be very specific. It doesn’t matter how bad the day is I know at sometime I will lay my head down and give thanks. “Calling it a Day”. Typically “Basking”, or it might relate to your reference to meditation, “Giving of Thanks” takes 15 minutes? To me it’s a prayerful state. I might come up with 5 things right away then reflect on each one as they swell in depth. I might even fall asleep before I get pass the 2nd or 3rd one, wake up later and resume.
It certainly helps sleep better which in itself relieves stress.
This is an extension of “No complaints, whatsoever”, Gratitude in Everything, at least 5 things at the end of the day even if complaining through most of it. Finishing well. It’s a good place to start. It puts the focus where it should be, not in denial of challenging circumstances but on the positive experience. Gratitude can change everything, a house into a home, an acquaintance into a friend, a meal into a feast, etc. etc. A stressful situation into inspiration.
This is my best encouragement, Gratitude works wonders, Guaranteed,
Thank You Pat for your inspiration and encouragement in improving my health and your desire to help others with your sensible approach,
Dennis
When I have the extra cash I found that skydiving is the best way to relieve stress. I’m not kidding. It’s the best therapy you can have. For about one minute of free fall you are amazed by your surroundings and view and the only thing on your mind… not bills, not kids, not child support etc. just Please let my chute open. Then enjoy the 15 minutes down tot he earth. It clears your mind lie no other.
I think there is a deep lesson there–as sky diving seems to take you deeply in the present moment (how can it not?), and there, when you are in the present and not focusing elsewhere, really no stress can exist. Thanks for joining the convo.
I love these natural remedies. Running relieves my stress and we meditate for a few minutes before karate 2 x per week, so that is good. plus I just really want to win a stuffed beaver!
I’ve been trying Rhodiola, and I definitely notice a difference. Not all brands are the same though, so you have to shop around a bit. Like yourself, I have a lot of ancestors that come from Scotland and Ireland and I inherited a taste for scotch and irish whiskies (none of that corn based rubbish for me!). I have to pay attention to my consumption, and limit myself to special occasions. One of the smartest things I’ve heard about that is, “weekends are not special occasions.”
Congratulations of the new website. Looks sharp.