#1. Just because you’ve been on a diet before, you are not Omniscient Godmaster of Dieting.

I’m no stranger to atypical dieting, and I’ve developed some pretty thick skin for the comments and questions of others during various “nutritional phases” I have traversed.

First, let me say that I eat atypically 99.9% of the time. I know *you* think this is weird and that *you* don’t get it. I’m cool with that. I eat mostly organic, and even more mostly natural, and I don’t eat this or that, and when I do, I balance it with this…yadda, yadda. But I enjoy eating, and I enjoy my food, and I eat plenty of calories (lest *you* worry about that.)

BUT. Sometimes. I like to really rein it in with a bit of caloric restriction.

Sometimes, I diet to “cut” because I [vainly] want to have visible abs and desire to look super-lean. When I do that, I aim for an overall caloric deficit–that is, I eat fewer calories than I “normally” would.

As Pat discusses quite often, there are a number of ways to do this. I have discovered, personally, that some of these ways are downright miserable. I do not like them.

Other methods are totally do-able, and I enjoy the challenge of them. (In fact, it’s sort of a game to me to see what I can do with manipulating calories in the least atrocious way.)

…..

So, anyway, people normally give me a little bit of crap about my usual eating habits. It’s a little bit annoying.

But here’s what’s REALLY annoying:

I’ll be 4 weeks into a “cut” or a calorically-restrictive diet of some sort, gettin’ shredded and feelin’ like a champ…

And people try to rub off their lackadaisical approach to fitness on ME.

STEP OFF, my friends. Keep that to yourself!

And when these things happen, I think to myself, “If I’m bothered right now, how does the dieting 300-lb. guy feel when he goes out with his friends and tries to make healthy decisions for himself?”

We must do better! We must become more sensitive to the people trying to break out of the Standard American Diet (whatever that means for them) and work to support rather than to sabotage their efforts.

So now here’s a list. A list of things that dieting people everywhere wish you knew. (And if you and I have interacted recently, you might just find that you are directly targeted in this list. Don’t be offended! Plus, you probably aren’t the only one.)

Nowadays, it seems that most people are somewhat understanding when a friend is “trying to eat healthy”; perhaps they will encourage their friend to order the grilled chicken breast and will even share a quinoa salad recipe with them.

But what if a friend is following a particular diet protocol?

THIS GIVES ME AN AWESOME, HILARIOUS IDEA!

I want you to comment with the exact quotes of family, friends, and strangers in regard to your diet!

Here, I’ll give you an example:

Dieting Friend: “I’m going to pass on the quinoa salad. I’m eating a low carb diet right now.”

Friend Who Once Tried Eating Healthy: “Quinoa is HEALTHY!”

So let me say this again…

Just because you’ve been on a diet before, you are not Omniscient Godmaster of Dieting. 

I understand that you’ve been on a diet before. I probably remember it, in fact. (I mean, if you’re on a diet and no one knows about it, are you really on a diet?) Ultimately, the active dieter desperately needs you to know that not all diets are the same and that you do not necessarily understand their current diet strategy, especially enough to dole out guidance on it.

1. Please don’t try to rationalize why or how I can break the rules to my own diet commitment. If I’m fasting today, I’m fasting today. Today is not “almost tomorrow,” and just because something is a vegetable doesn’t mean it doesn’t count as food. It’s hard enough to say no when I’m at a dinner party and not eating–stop giving me chances to fail and making it seem like it’s okay!

2. Please don’t tell me what is or is not “healthy” according to whatever source you are pulling that from. Something can be perfectly healthy while also not helping me achieve my goals.

3. Please don’t monitor my diet adherence unless I ask you to. ‘Nuff said.

4. Please don’t tell me your thoughts on my diet unless you actually have facts and are concerned for my well-being. Just because it is uncommon from your limited scope of perspective does not mean it is detrimental or ineffective or dangerous. Being lean and active and happy with one’s body is not common around these parts, so the method for arriving there may also be seen as uncommon around these parts.

5. Please don’t think that your evaluation of my body and its current condition have an influence on my goals. Just because I already meet a standard you have does not mean that I am content with my status quo. In fact, your judgment of my appearance and/or performance has little to no effect on me whatsoever.

*Also, please feel free to comment with additions to the list. I know you’ve got ’em!

MIC DROP.

ANNNND now picking up my timer for my

5-Minute Sweaty

Bodyweight Circuit, 30s each, 2 rounds:

Step/bench triceps dips;

Single-leg glute bridges (R);

Single-leg glute bridges (L);

Skater hops (lateral leaps without inside foot touching floor);

Squat to toes (full lower, then come past standing to tip-toes and right back down).

 

P.S. Get more workouts HERE!

P.P.S. Please share your own funny experiences below!