Mary Wesley, an English novelist, once put into concise language what many of us have experienced:
My first husband would never make up his mind in less than five years, so I used to get him to think that whatever course of action needed to be taken was his idea. Then he’d go right ahead.”
It’s scientific fact that marriages are happiest when each spouse can manipulate the other unbeknownst to either.
After two years, I finally got my husband to realize that he needed kettlebells in his life. Of course, he thinks that his conversion was of his own accord. Happy marriage? Check!
[Actually, if I’m being completely honest (which I usually like to be), I tried to convince him for nearly two years and just recently gave up. It wasn’t a plan. But it should have been. Because it’s brilliant!]
Here’s how what will henceforth be known as Day 1 of Anthony’s Kettlebell Transformation went down:
In our typical, super-glamorous way, we shoved everything in our livingroom to the outside edges. I grabbed the three randomly-sized and -weighted kettlebells we have, and I instructed a refresher course for Anthony. He nailed it. (I think it was the high-quality instruction.)
Then, we did the actual workout. (Posted below for your swinging pleasure.)
Hours later, when I still couldn’t shut up about how excited I was that he was picking up kettlebells–and, amazingly, when he was still entertaining this topic of conversation–he literally began to say every single thing anyone has ever touted about kettlebells.
“I feel like I got a solid workout in such a short amount of time!”
“I mean, it was less than 30 minutes, but I got my heart rate up, I feel like my muscles were all active…I think this hits everything I need.”
“I don’t feel totally beaten up, though!”
^This really happened. In real life. You can’t make this stuff up, folks!
My inner monologue: AHHHHH, YESSSSSSSSS. ALL OF THESE THINGS! I have been telling you this for years. YEARS. You are repeating Pat’s emails nearly verbatim. What took you so long?!
In case you missed it, experts and laymen agree:
Kettlebells build muscle, torch fat, and give a nice cardio punch, too!
* * * *
Feeling inspired? We did a “beginner’s modification” (read: no snatches) of one of Pat’s infamously terrible conglomerations, and you can follow right along!
I present to you…
Anthony’s Workout-to-Obliterate-the-‘Energy-Stores’-as-Stock-Piled-By-Bacon-Cheddar-Ranch-Pull-Aparts
Timer app set to ding every 30s for 10 minutes + *one KB
*Disclaimer: no matter the weight, you’ll wish it was lighter somewhere around the 3rd minute…)
Two-hand swing (30s)
Single-arm swing L/R (30s x 2)
Single-arm clean L/R (30s x 2)
Single-arm swing L/R (30s x 2)
Goblet squat (60s)
Single-leg deadlift L/R (30s x 2)
Reverse lunge L/R (30s x 2)
Single-arm press L/R (30s x 2)
Single-arm push-press L/R (30s x 2)
Swing, squat, push-up (60s)
Plank (30s) [or until you lose control of your limbs and collapse into a sweaty and smelly, yet invigorated, pile of mush]
If you enjoyed this but are not yet subscriber to Pat’s Newsletter, what are you waiting for? He’s got tons of…shall we say, englightening?…workouts that you can do in less time than you can consume all of the Cheddar-Bacon-Ranch Pull-Aparts at your next football party!
Did I hear someone sigh with disappointment that they simply do not have the means to complete a kettlebell workout? No kettlebell, no problem. Try this on for size:
5-Minute Bodyweight Sweaty
Push-ups (30s)
Mountain climbers (30s)
BW squats (30s)
Bear-crawl in a square going clockwise [such that you go forward, sideways, backward, sideways, forward, etc.] (30s)
BW squats (30s)
Push-ups (30s)
Mountain climbers (30s)
BW squats (30s)
Bear-crawl in a square going counter counter-clockwise (30s)
BW squats (30s)
Before you get going…
If you can relate to Anthony’s kettlebell enthusiasm, comment below to tell us your success story! We’d love to share in the excitement!