This week’s question comes in from our friend Stephen James:

“Sir, I have a question. If I got the abs then I stop training and much more food, isn't going back again into love handle?”

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There’s a certain air of confidence surrounding the grammatical anarchist that’s oftentimes sexy, isn’t there? A sort of, hey, look at me, I hang out in my slippers all day, eat chicken salad off crackers, and drink milk straight out the carton kind of attitude. And let me tell you this right now: nothing revs my libido more than a woman who appears to be above the use of relative pronouns.

But I must admit, I’ve had just the damnedest time interpreting this bunkum. It’s like trying to make sense of spilt alphabet soup.  I can only imagine he’s trying to ask one of two things:

1. I worked hard and got the abs. Now I don’t want to work hard to keep the abs. Can I stop working hard (stop working out, stop eating right) and keep the abs?
   
   
2. My stomach has taken on the revolting form of lean and riveting musculature. How do I restore it at once to its most previous and exquisite shape: the love handle?

Now I have nothing describable as sound scientific evidence to support this theory, but I’m inclined to say I’m very close to nine-tenths certain that if you stop working out and start dispatching a copious amount of calories, you will, in fact, undeniably, and most certainly, get fat.

This has been my most common observation, and anything else would look quite inconsistent. Thank the question you for submitting.

I like this complex. It's simple. That is, if I may presume to call a "complex" simple.